Emotional detachment

Author
Karla Solano

Years go by and life experiences seem to get more intense; it is as though becoming older meant that we have to be more resilient to emotional pain which by no means is this true. Every experience we go through brings a new lesson but as we go through the motions and live through the cycles of our existence, we only take as much as our hearts can handle.

We are fragile beings and our heartaches tend to linger with us for years before we decide to let them go one day. These scars create blockages in our heart chakra, thus making it almost impossible to open ourselves completely to new experiences. Our fear of getting hurt or the idea of not being in a reciprocal relationship can make it very difficult to connect with others in a balanced way. These emotional attachments to our past experiences hold us back and limit the way we give and receive love.

Being emotionally attached to people and circumstances hinder our ability to fully experience love, and yet being detached is one of the most difficult things to do. I find it very hard to detach myself from people who I have a strong connection with; it is strange but there are some people who come into our lives and sweep us off our feet in such a gentle way, that when you least expect it, you have already fallen for them. And while there is nothing wrong with giving our heart again to someone, it is important not to get lost in an emotional battle with ourselves.

Emotional detachment means to love and accept others in our lives without expectations, without limitations, and without judgment. Giving ourselves fully in the moment and letting go of the past and the future. Now, how easy is this to do? I don’t know anyone who has mastered this way of loving, and yet this is the only way to love in order to love without suffering.

Loving without attachment is beneficial because it allows relationships to grow without possessiveness, without being clingy, jealousy and with complete trust for one another. Relationships are much healthier, joyful and long lasting if experienced from this point of view. But the need of our ego to control, doesn’t allow us to express our true feelings for those we care about because of the fear of being rejected and exposed. Therefore, we rather keep on living a life of suffering wandering about the “what ifs” instead of learning to love and give without emotional attachment and in pure freedom; Which although difficult to undertake it is not impossible to achieve if we learn to meditate about loving and finding that inner connection with ourselves before attempting to love others.